Time for joy, time for cheer

Haven't been here in a while. I blame it on the exams, lack of sleep and stress that comes with it. But now I'm here; and so is Christmas. Some say it's not Christmas until the Coca Cola advert airs. Here in Kenya though, it's not Christmas until you start eating. Parties pop up everywhere like flowers in the Springtime. And when they start, they don't stop till January, by which time people are flat broke and several kilos heavier, with enough fat to insulate them against the cold during festive season rave nights.

At home, Christmas starts when Mum’s birthday comes around. Best way to begin the festive season. A goat always loses its life, or, like in today’s case, a goat and a sheep. With a humongous White Forest cake to go with it. So as I sit here with a plateful of cake, listening to the noise of the happy people in the background, I know Christmas is here. Happy birthday Mum. Lots of love!!!! Now off to the gym…

The Waiting Room

You sit there, silent, staring, waiting. You went there because you were unwell and were seeking treatment, but the boredom is making you sicker. The TV is tuned into a boring channel, with the volume is so low that you can’t watch it even if you wanted to. What’s the point of having it on anyway? You want to listen to music, but you forgot your earphones. So you stare jealously  at the guy seated across from you with earphones plugged into his ears, because the music seems to be saving him from the vicious arms of boredom that are reaching towards you. The novel that you brought along with you has a slow start, too slow to entice you to to turn the page, so you slam it shut in frustration. You stare out the window and stare at the clouds floating by, and amuse yourself with all the different shapes. A screaming child provides welcome distraction, and you turn to look at him. He’s seen a doctor clad in a white lab coat coming towards him, and it’s freaking him out. You half smile, slightly amused. You remember the days when a doctor’s white lab coat was the omen. You begin wondering whether a different-coloured lab coat would have the same effect, or whether they would never know it, never see the needle coming. Haha. Little suckers. The intercom crackles, getting you out of your daydream, and you hear your name called out. “Finally,” you think, “took them long enough.”  With a sigh you stand up and shuffle your feet lazily towards the door.

After being kept waiting for so long, the doctor is done with you in two minutes and sends you to the lab. Shit, lab...needles. Perhaps you’re still a child inside after all. You take yourself towards your impending doom, and you turn away as the white-coated monster snaps his rubber gloves on. He taps the inner part of your elbow lightly, and you can almost swear he’s licked his lips, like a lion about to pounce on a willing, juicy antelope. You wince as you feel the needle go in. Oh, the horror! But before you know it, it’s over. “That wasn’t so bad,” you tell yourself, wondering why you were scared in the first place. Childhood trauma perhaps? You’re told to wait outside a while. Great, another waiting room. It smells the same as the other one. That hospital smell that attacks your nose as soon as you step one foot into the building. You sit facing the fountain, looking at the bubbles rising towards the surface, listening to the gurgling noise. From the speakers you hear Jimmy Reeves playing, a nice, soft song. A soothing calm takes over you...

You’re jolted awake by someone roughly shaking your shoulder. A nurse in a starched, white uniform, who looks like she’s just eaten a lemon, hands you an envelope. “Take this to the doctor” she says, in a very surly tone. “Someone hates their job,” you think. You take the envelope and go back to the doctor, who makes you wait again. You sit exactly where you had sat before, only this time it’s a bit different because the people around are different. Life seems to have moved on since you were last there. You stare at the the two blonde girls chatting animatedly, and wonder if they are at all sick. The guy seated in front of you turns, blocking your view of the blondes. You turn to look at what distracted him. It’s the long-legged girl in the miniskirt that’s coming down the stairs. Of course. Why are you not surprised?

The doctor calls you back in, wrinkling her forehead as she looks at your file with quick spasmic nods. Wordlessly, she jots down something on a piece of paper and hands it to you. “Take this and you’ll be fine in no time.” She whips out of the room, lab coat billowing behind her.

You go to the pharmacy, and the pharmacist asks you to wait. Boy, they really love making people wait in this place, don’t they?! You sit down anyway, because you’ve got no choice. You’ve been the epitome of patience this whole day. You should be given an award! Before long, the pharmacist calls out your name and shoves a brown package in your hand. Why does everyone at this hospital seem angry today? But you don’t care, because you’re done.

Shielding your eyes, you walk out into the blistering sun.

The body part that is technology

A couple of people have asked me, “How come you don’t blog these days?”. Caught me quite by surprise actually, when it came from even the randomest of people. I experienced what I’m guessing is what celebrities feel when they walk the red carpet and people swoon at the sight of them, though to a much, much smaller scale. I didn’t let it get to the point where my ego developed an ego; just a small swelling on the side. I mean, you gotta massage your ego once in a while because your mother is not always around to do it.

The reason I do not blog much these days is because I have been preoccupied with quite a lot of things. Weighty things (at least in my opinion). Things I could not blog about because they were personal (and some perhaps a bit incriminating). If I had a personal journal I’d have written all about it there, but I don’t have one. Having a journal would have made my writing feel less relaxing and a lot more like homework. So I didn’t upload my thoughts on the Internet, because it is a bit disconcerting to have a guy with a name such as Swaggamasta98 or BigCheeksBovine leave a comment like ‘I know exactly what you mean!’. Plus there’s something about putting up personal stuff on the Internet that may one day come to bite you in the gluteus.

There were many times though when I had things I wanted to write down, but I never did because I didn’t have my computer with me, and I’m not used to blogging on the go. There’s something about twiddling your thumbs over a tiny keypad that makes you not want to write long stories. I’m assuming that’s how SMS language came about. That plus the fact that your characters are numbered. But that’s a story for another day. Even if I wanted to though, I couldn’t have blogged on my phone today because I forgot it at home. In this day and age, leaving your phone behind is a very big deal. It’s like having a part of you that’s missing; as if you walked out of hospital and left your heart behind. I’m curious, is that the same thing that people feel when they wake up from surgery where a dodgy doctor stole one of their kidneys to sell on the black market?? It’s a very valid question actually...do you feel like a part of you is elsewhere (literally)? I’d very much like to ask someone these questions, someone that has undergone these unthinkable horrors, but I don’t know how I’d go about it. First of all, how would I know who’s parts were stolen? It’s not like they walk around with a sign hanging from the neck saying ‘That guy stole my kidney’.  Plus I’m sure if I just walked up to someone and said “How does it feel to have half your liver stolen?” I’d be met with a slap. I have to find a politically correct way to ask those questions. Those are thoughts that I’ll leave to ponder...

The thing about mobile phones these days is that they’ve become such a necessity that you cannot afford not to have one. Do you know the trouble that one goes through when they want to meet someone somewhere yet they do not have a phone? It’s not something you want to experience, trust me. The hustle makes you wonder whether that person is really worth it. I wonder how cavemen used to live, without phones, internet, TV and all that. Such measly existence. No wonder they’d be out hunting and gathering all day. So that they wouldn’t get bored and want to watch TV or get on facebook.

Embrace technology today, and take care of yourself. Don’t let someone take your organs in your sleep. (But if you do get your organ stolen, please tell me how it feels.)

I lack the relevant song for this post, especially one that would remind you of missing body parts. I’m sure Lady Gaga isn’t far from writing such a song. This one is close enough though, especially how it starts.

Teeth - Lady Gaga
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-t_hLnhg_YY

It’s raining. It’s pouring! It’s flooding!!

I haven’t done this in a while. I could go for the closest excuse and blame it on writer’s block, but I think that should be saved for the writers, not the ramblers. There were many times when I began writing, and then I’d go at a loss of words after two sentences. Other times I felt like I had nothing of great importance to say. (Not that I do now, either. But that shouldn’t stop you from reading. You never know what life-changing opportunity is up ahead.) Then there’s the times I could not articulate my words to perfectly bring out the emotion I was experiencing. At some point I had forgotten I had a blog, and someone had to remind me. Most times I had many small ideas, but they never culminated into anything substantial. Like how I noticed a guy selling suspiciously black/dark-coloured mutura. Or the fad that is Supras and skinny jeans for men. Though I think the latter is such an atrocity it deserves special mention. Watch this space.

I’ve been doing a whole lot of soul-searching recently, trying to discover who I am, and what exactly my purpose in life is. I found out quite a bit, actually, like how much of a procrastinator I am. I mean, look at how long it took me to write this. I experienced the rollercoaster that life can be: when it’s raining it always seems to pour, and when it’s dry there’s a real drought. Isn’t there a saying that talks about nothing coming singly? (That includes the traffic jams in this beloved country. It’s taken me three hours to write this because I was stuck in traffic all the way to the gate. And for someone who lives in Kiserian, that is quite a distance.)

I heard something that caught my attention, said by one Pitbull in what has come to be one of the biggest hits this year. ‘Me not working hard? Yeah right, picture that with a Kodak.’ I don’t know why, but this line really motivates me. Maybe that’s because you can only say it if you know it’s true. It’s the kind of statement that screams at your conscience. Think about it. Plus I like the pun.

As I sign out, I leave you with a song from someone I think was a very brilliant musician: Amy Winehouse. Her death left an impact on me like MJ’s did to others. I wasn’t really a fan of his, so upon news of his death I just shrugged and moved on with my life. As opposed to hers, where I stood in shock for about three seconds. Three seconds of my life is considerably much more than a shrug. A bus could hit you in three seconds. Really good news could get to you in three seconds. I could come up with the next sentence in three seconds. This repetition has bored you in three seconds. See? Anyway, rest in peace Amy. I’ll be enjoying your music for a long, long while.

Amy Winehouse - Back To Black 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=w1evzhSast8

Amy Winehouse -  You Know I'm No Good
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ll7UFxqI2pM

Rambling

It’s a beautiful night out. Clouds with a feather-like effect dot the sky, the stars shine bright, and the moon glows with a rainbow-coloured ring around it. Perfect for a romantic scene in a movie. (Actually this seems a lot like the beginning to one of those soppy romantic novels.) Anyway, it was just an observation whose beauty I thought deserved mention.

On to more interesting things, (no offence to all the star-gazers out there) I’ve just heard over the radio that there’s a goat derby scheduled for sometime later this month. There’ll be goat races and a goat fashion show among other things, perhaps even a goat fight. I hear those gather quite a crowd. No doubt people will attend anyway, because if they’ve got the same train of thought as I do, they’ll go expecting mbuzi choma. Perhaps the goat that wins the race? Let’s cross our fingers guys. It’s for a good cause though; something about open heart surgery for underprivileged children. People are getting very creative. Though if I was the one who had come up with the whole goat fashion show idea, I’d have been met with many weird and/or concerned looks....

Last week saw what was probably the biggest trending topic on Twitter: Ramogi Night (#ramoginight). The things I read have got me laughing till now. Here’s one that made me tear up: “Omera, I do not sleepwalk; I execute my dreamland escapades in 3D.”

10 minutes later, after laughing till my sides hurt, I’ve come back to log out. Partly because I need to go read about worms with 3 lips that will give you constipation due to intestinal obstruction for an impending CAT, and partly because temperatures have suddenly dropped and my fingers have turned into icicles. With the current weather situation I thought this song would be appropriate, July being the closest we will ever come to winter.

Omarion ft Timbaland – Ice Box

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jQybgJCswF0

PS: can’t forget to wish one Rachael Kiragu an awesome 21^st birthday. Lots of love coming your way.

When it's never that serious

I haven’t read for a CAT this year as much as I read for the one we had yesterday. I stayed up late, survived on two measly hours of sleep and two espressos. I read. I read my ass off. But I wasn’t just reading, I was internalising, comprehending, answering all sorts of questions. I was prepared. Then the CAT came...

Number 1: haha. These guys are funny.

Number 2: I suffered a near heart attack.

Number 3: I read this. Jubilation! Then...Oh my gosh, I remember nothing!

Number 4: Haiya! We learnt this?

Number 5: I read this. I read it well. So at least I’m assured about 10 marks out of a hundred.

I had really been prepared for that CAT. But no amount of preparation could brace me against the assault I suffered. And thus the story of how I bent over for a CAT, and it did me good.

As if things could not get any worse, I later found out that it would only constitute about 1% of my total mark. I felt used. I’d lost sleep and endured so much stress just for one lousy percent?! And thus the moral of the story: IT’S NEVER THAT SERIOUS!!!!!!

When you’ve had a day like mine, you need a song to pump up energy. A song that reminds

you that it’s never that serious. ‘cause you might not see tomorrow.

Pitbull ft Ne-yo, Afrojack, Nayer - Give Me Everything

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EPo5wWmKEaI

Consultancy and all its benefits

I had a very good day today. Mainly because I did what was probably the best CAT of my life as yet. It’s not because the CAT was easy, (though it was, relatively speaking) but it’s because the level of anastomosis was simply ENTERTAINING. Either the UON Psychiatry Department was short-staffed, causing a severe shortage of invigilators, or that lady simply trusted us. We are doctors in the making after all, why shouldn’t we be trusted? Haha. Today was a good day.

And of course, good days are celebrated with good music.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8

Everyday I’m shuffling!

Party Rock is in the house tonight!

I’m baaaaaaaaack!!!! After long, stressful weeks of CATs that felt like they lasted months, I’m finally stress-free (more or less). Back to my happy self. I wouldn’t be this way though if it wasn’t for LMFAO’s Party Rock Anthem. It officially became my go-to song. When I’m feeling sad and depressed, I listen to it; it makes me happy. When I’m happy, I listen to it; it makes me happier. When I’m bored, I listen to it; it gives me energy. It’s the ultimate song. SONG OF THE YEAR!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KQ6zr6kCPj8

The Bucket List

According to some guy whose sanity is in question, the world is ending this Saturday, the 21^st of May 2011. This is the same guy who said that the world would end in December 1994, yet look where we are now. (Remember the guys who dug out caves in some part of western Kenya some time ago because the world was ending? What ever happened to them?!? Someone really ought to go check on them. They could still be there thinking the world ended...)

I was just thinking though, if indeed the world was to end on Saturday, there’s so many things on my bucket list that I still haven’t done.

Random question: ever wondered where the term ‘bucket list’ came from? Is it from the proverbial bucket that we are supposed to kick in an effort to hang on to dear life?

Back to my bucket list...I still haven’t climbed a mountain of note, I haven’t become famous yet (let’s not lie, we all want fame and fortune), I still haven’t driven a Bugatti Veyron,



this car is too sexy



 and of course, I haven’t yet done anything in life for myself – become a good doctor that made an impact, no matter how small, in someone’s life, and changed it for the better. Plus there’s the clichéd getting married and having kids and blah, blah, blah.

A friend of mine told me if indeed the end of the world was to come while he was still around, it would find him in a club partying the rest of his life away. Food for thought: if you knew the world would end on a particular date, what would you do? Cry? Get saved like R. Kelly? Kill yourself so that you don’t have to see Jesus coming?

This song seems very appropriate with the current end-of-the-world situation going on, don’t you think?

Jay Sean ft Nicki Minaj - 2012
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4uFalk1y38I
but then again, it's not 2012 yet....

Of pirating and bad music

So I’m sitting here trying to read about staphylococcal bacteria with music from my laptop playing in the background (I have to have music playing to create some background noise, otherwise if it’s really quiet I’ll just daydream). Anyway, as I try to focus on the stuff I’m reading, ‘Turn My Swag On’ by Soulja Boy comes on. I try to concentrate and I can’t, until I realise that it’s because there’s noise around me. Then it hits me; it’s not music in the background, its noise. Soulja Boy doesn’t make music, he makes noise! I go through the few Soulja Boy songs that I have, and my fears are confirmed. He makes a living out of noise-making (genius, isn’t it? I should’ve thought of it first. Lol).

What ever happened to the real talent?!? I miss the days when music was actually music. Not like these days when Weezy will drop a line like ‘I’m fly as the sky, fly as the insect’ and people will scream in awe and worship him. I remember how I’d tune in to the radio and hear Mercy Myra’s awesome (for lack of a better word) voice fill the room.

Now THAT was music! Kenyans were not ready for neo-soul at the time; they were too pre-occupied with kapuka. So for that reason she didn’t do so well. I keep on wishing she’d make a come-back around this time, coz then she’d really be a legend. With the way people are embracing Dela and Sauti Sol, she’s assured to go very far. Assuming of course that there’s no/minimal piracy. But then again, huku ni Kenya.

I was at Nakumatt the other day with my pops and we stopped by a shelf full of CDs and albums. They were all original, of course. I picked up a Barry White CD, and the tag at the back said it was worth Shs2500. No wonder there’s so much piracy in this country! Not that I’m not one of them. This is just one of the situations where you do it because everyone is doing it, because it’s the easiest thing to do, then you speak about it and that’s the end of it. So it starts with you, with me. Or maybe artists just need to stop selling their music at exorbitant prices.

As I sign out, I leave you with actual music. Forget the crunk, the meaningless rap. Sit back, and let the tunes massage your stress away.

Mercy Myra  - Tie Dero

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HQ6jPSaiGwU

Harry Kimani - Haiya

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=noQLBtFAzwk

Get original music this week.

One mor web page...

Have you ever been on the Internet and you didn't know where to go to? No? Not even because you had so many websites to visit and so many pages to open that you didn't know where to start? Don't lie, we've all been there. Well, for me it was just because I had nowhere to go...up until i had a light bulb moment: why not start a blog?!?

So here i was, lying on my bed, with unlimited Internet access and nothing to do with it, (I'm a girl, it's allowed, or at least it should be) when this awesome idea popped into my head. I have a (slight) tendency to talk to myself when I'm alone. Ok, usually it's not verbal, more in my head, but still gives the same noisy effect. It's the power of imagination. Seeing as i am  generally a noisy person, i just can't keep quiet simply because there's no one to talk to, especially if I'm on a sugar-high, which happens to be most of the time. And thus the conversations in my head! Anyway, i digress. Where was I? Oh yeah, the light bulb moment....I've just remembered a funny joke concerning light bulbs: 'moths must have been very bored creatures before Thomas Edison.' Lol! Funniest thing ever. Now that's what i call an intelligent joke. I don't know why, but it sounds funnier if I imagine Russel Peters saying it. Maybe it's the Indian accent. Or the silence in the room when he cracks that joke and no one gets it, so they're just staring up at him with puzzled/bored expressions, and you can hear crickets in the background. Anyway, i digress again. Why did i start the blog? Because i was bored. Because i would get one more web page to visit. Because facebook was down (no pun intended). Because I needed to stop these behaviours of talking to myself, so I figured I could talk to others through a blog. Because i could (that is always a very valid reason). Because of many becauses. And thus the birth of my blog, and my own version of a reality show that ridiculously follows people as they go about their lives.

So now you know. And now I need to go to bed because I've began typing on auto-pilot and the letters seem be acquiring strange shapes. As I do, I leave you with the song of the day. My love for music results in me having a constant radio in my head, and in one day a song will play over and over again. Today though there was no song of the day, considering the many events that took place. So I'll just leave you with the song that's playing in the club next door (yes, there is a club next door. With ridiculously loud music. I feel like I'm seated right next to the speaker.)

www.youtube.com/watch?v=wDqo64HDR9c 

I love this song. enjoy!

xoxo